This song was a genre mashup. The premise behind the writing process was to throw a bunch of genres into the hat (punk, alternative, blues, metal, whatever). I would draw one, and Chas would draw another. We each had to write riffs based on the genre or style that he drew. I drew hardcore punk and psychedelic. Chas had ska and folk, I think. The result was a disjointed yet strangely cohesive song.
This song, I think, is the denouement of Clusterfuck’s failed attempt to bring truth to the masses. The first verse goes: “Listless, and dried out again/ I’m washed ashore and I’m tasting sand/ and then it hits me:/ I’m one of a kind/ The end is near/ but I don’t seem to mind.” Clusterfuck has survived the flood; perhaps he has achieved a kind of sobriety. The paranoia is gone. Instead, we see a passive acceptance of inevitable fate. He has tried to save humanity but failed. Now, he is “burnt out like idea machines” (whatever that means [It’s an abstract way of referencing a lightbulb – Chas]).
Clusterfuck also seems to be saying goodbye to his female companion, whoever she may be: “I’m trading the you/ for the lonely me/ If the flood rolls in/ and I’m still away/ ignore what the crowds all say/ You ain’t saving me.” This line seems to give the album and Clusterfuck’s arc some finality. He’s leaving; he’s given up on human connection; the flood is still threatening to roll in, but he knows he will never be saved. It has that morose satisfaction that only comes from tragedy.
Chas says:
Although “Trust Falling” also worked to expand the story of Mr. CF Jones, this was probably the only song out of the project that had real intention behind the lyrics. And I’ll admit that while the music only took the one night as usual, I actually spent about a week slowly circling around the lyrics and the vocal part. But I think we both knew this was going to be capper of the story, and so it felt right to just kind of take a moment to end Clusterfuck’s story correctly.
I don’t really have too much else to say about the song, except that perhaps it shows the limitations both of me as an engineer and of the program I was using, Garageband. I’ve just never been able to build up much patience for programming drums, so I just played it safe with the preprogrammed stuff. I also wish I could solo better. I really wanted to put a little shreddy guy in the middle of the tune, but my skills lack in that department.
lyrics
Listless, and dried out again
I’m washed ashore
and I’m tasting sand
and then it hits me:
I’m one of a kind.
The end is near
but I don’t seem to mind
because I’m
stubborn like a stick in the mud,
worn out like a tire in a rut,
burnt out like idea machines.
What’s wrong with a little distraction,
our heads cut off for a piece of the action?
You want some tips on the road to success, boy?
Just buy my book for its lessons on excess.
You ain’t saving me.
Capsize the wagon again
and now I’m comatose in the oxygen
and so you sling words,
the four letter kind
with me the only target
that they hope to find
and so I’m
sneaking through your bedroom door,
avoiding all the creaks in the floor,
crawling up to your bedside
only to whisper
“Goodbye love,
I’m gone today.
I’m trading the you
for the lonely me.
If the flood rolls in
and I’m still away
ignore what the crowds all say.”
You ain’t saving me.
Sneaking through your bedroom door,
avoiding all the creaks in the floor,
get myself the hell outta dodge,
I’m swimming to a different song,
swimming ‘cause the ending is nigh,
crawling up to your bedside
only to whisper
Boston band featuring members of Have Heart and Basement take their earnest, motivational post-hardcore to thrilling new heights. Bandcamp New & Notable Aug 23, 2023